It’s taken HTB4F a little while to know what to make of last week’s big debate. There was an awful lot said, and then at the same time, very little that actually made any difference.

It felt a bit like attack of the broken records. By that I don’t mean that Nigel Farage achieved the most simultaneous raised eyebrows since George Galloway pretended to be a cat on big brother, I mean that half the time it appeared the robotic party leaders had  their speech circuits stuck on repeat… 

From right to left we had: 

• Neo-Liberalist-Agenda-Bot

• They’ll-Take-Our-Land-But-They’ll-Never-Take-Our-Scot-Bot

• Welsh-Bot

• Unsettling-Nasal-Staring-Bot

• Thinly-Veiled-Racist-Geezer-Bot

• Broken-Promises-But-Decent-On-Telly-Bot

• Enviro*brainfade*bot 

We were straight in with a question from a 9 year old politics student who’s girlfriend was clearly unimpressed that Nandos was off the cards. Young Jonny wanted to know about the economy, the irony being of course that he won’t actually be old enough to vote at this election (I hear that Jonny, I wasn’t at the last one either…).  

This sent David Cameron off party line dancing so hard that one could almost see the stetson and chaps materialise on his person. ‘Long term economic plan, Hardworking people, finish the job’ went the mantra, repeated as if some sort of neb-liberalist forcefield would protect him from the assertions of his opponents. He just sort of said that everything was working again and again, his gammon spoon face lulling you into believing him. Every question was brought back to the economy. Economy. ECONOMY. He played it safe as we knew he would, so safe in fact that it just might have worked.

Somebody determined not to play it safe was Nigel Farage who made his first ever public appearance without a pint of Ruddles clutched in his hand. The usual googly-eyed smirk was there in force however as Nigel decided to whip up some fear of the mysterious ‘other’ by claiming that immigrants were bringing HIV into the UK and then generally bringing any questions back to immigrants as much as possible.

Clegg showed flashes of the man who brought about Clegg-mania in 2010, whipping out his old remembering-all-the-peoples-names-trick that everyone loved so much. Whilst he was inevitably pounded for breaking his no tuition fee rise promise, his unbridled attack on the Tories like a spouse freed from an abusive relationship, whilst highlighting what the Lib-Dems have done will have struck a chord with many voters. Milliband was hardly safe either, having an apology demanded for him like a naughty schoolboy in trouble for what his mates in the year above got up to. Going in with no expectations makes anything you do well look good!

Nobody knows this better than Ed Miliband, who seems to have broken free of his Anti-PR cocoon and metamorphed into a weird moth made solely of nose and teeth that flies surprisingly well. Miliband had hit bottom as pretty much every media outlet trying to assassinate his character. So a debate in which people could see the real Miliband (I don’t mean David) can only be a good thing for him, right? Almost. Ed Said the right stuff, but just couldn’t deliver it with the gusto needed to make his words hit home as they should have. In the first debate Paxman resorted to schoolboy name calling and Kay Burley delivered sly remarks like shiny right wing turds throughout - there was none of that this time, but despite landing a couple of decent blows there was still something wanting. 

He is the James Milner of the left wing (no, not Stuart Downing): pretty good on paper, but he’ll have to work twice as hard as flashy Robin van Cameron to be the Downing Street No.10.

Yeah great, we saw the debate, so what?

Even though all the leaders essentially just beat a big tub with their party name on it to varying degrees of effectiveness, we did learn a few things: 

• We know now that Cameron didn’t want to debate Miliband because Cameron is the debating equivalent of a skip full of vanilla ice cream. Great for a soundbite (or scoop, if you will) but just overwhelmingly bland in larger doses. A cookie cutter leader. Oh and it turns out Miliband is actually pretty good in a setting outside of PMQs where a swarm of guffawing and chortling old white men jeer your every comment
• The United Kingdom won’t be united for long. The impressive performance of the SNP’s Nicola Sturgeon legitimised the party further, making many southern lefties jealous in the process. As their party whose fundamental principle is breaking from the Westminster hegemony tightens its grip, the clock ticks on the UK. Plaid Cymru did well as the SNPs little sister, but it’s clear they want to go a similar way. Oh, and where were our Brothers from Northern Ireland? Nothing says inclusion like simply not being there
• If you fancy a flutter, a Tory minority government is your best bet at the moment. A number of factors make this likely: 

1. The media are on side and dancing to Dave and Gideon’s merry tune. What The Sun says goes and currently Murdoch’s Pravda is towing the Tory line.
2. Although I’ve mocked it here, the repeated hammering of the economic message with the occasional comment on ‘scroungers’ and the immigrant menace wins votes. People know the economy is important, but barely understand it so can’t judge what Cameron says critically. Plus, people are snobby, they love things like Downton Abbey and Kate Middleton’s wardrobe, giving them ammo to look down at a perceived other is exactly what they want
3. Old rich people love the Torys… And who are the only people who vote? Old Rich people. I’ve already harked back to 2010’s Clegg-Mania, when people thought we might actually see real change from a guy peddling progressive youth friendly policy. The youth would turn out and sneak Clegg a victory so it seemed, but then it turned out they were too busy laughing at cat videos on Youtube to vote.

So expect a Tory government led by the same guys as this time but without the Lib-Dem political condom. 

HTB4F are predicting another general election circus will role into town not too long after this one has packed up.

New Account Offer

Min deposit requirement. Free Bets are paid as Bet Credits and are available for use upon settlement of qualifying bets. Min odds, bet and payment method exclusions apply. Returns exclude Bet Credits stake. Time limits and T&Cs apply

Click to Claim